Introduction
Are you a Single Malt Whisky Fanatic? Serge from WHISKYFUN.COM posted a link on Twitter to this smwhisky.com web page, detailing the five stages of single malt whisky fanaticism: Curiosity, Enthusiasm, Fanaticism, Obsession, and Terminal.
Please follow the link to the original description (which is pulled from a Yahoo newsgroup from 2002), then select your stage in the poll. I’d be interested in hearing more details in the comments, too (have you figured out how to stop the madness?). I’ll provide details on why I’m a mid-level Stage 3 Malt Fanatic after the poll:
Confessions of a Stage 3 malt fanatic
I felt like such a sheep after reading about these stages and seeing how closely I fall in line with the provided descriptions. Where’s my originality?
Stage 1:
Curiosity: The novice may have tried a couple of expressions of malt, and finds that he or she really enjoys the experience, or is perhaps curious about malt from what he or she has read or overheard from other enthusiasts.
Analysis: I became curious about scotch whisky shortly before a business trip to the UK about a year ago. A day trip to Edinburgh, and a visit to The Scotch Malt Whisky Experience, propelled me right into Stage 2…
Stage 2:
Enthusiasm: The malt enthusiast gets into the game. Unquenchable thirst for knowledge (and malt) drives him to begin buying books about malt whisky, surfing the web (and how did you find this site?), maps and other Scotland paraphenalia, and of course, bottles of Scotch. Typically in this stage, a form of denial may emerge where the enthusiast will refuse to spend over a set amount (maybe $50 or $100) for any bottle of malt. Bad move. Law of supply and demand. Good whisky costs money. Crap whisky can cost big bucks too (ask around before you buy if you are unsure), but good cheap whisky only comes along rarely (like $50 bottles of 100 proof Springbank).
Analysis: Let’s see:
- Buying books – Michael Jackson’s Whisky Definitive Guide; Malt Whisky Yearbook 2009; Offringa’s Whisky & Jazz. Check!
- Surfing web – Check out my Resources page. Check!
- Scotland paraphenalia – Not yet, but searched a little bit to see if I could buy a block of peat like they give you to smell during the Whisky Experience tour.
- Bottles of Scotch – Uh…yeah. Check!
- Price limit denial – Initially $100. For my 40th birthday, I bought myself a bottle of Laphroaig 30. Check!
Stage 2 sidebar (connoisseur vs collector):
Somewhere in stage 2, two distinct personality types emerge: The connoisseur and the collector. The connoisseur firmly believes that all malt, no matter how rare or expensive, is meant to be consumed, preferably by sharing among friends. The collector hoards malt, puts it on a shelf to worship and collect dust and invites other collectors over to drool over his collection. He probably offers them a taste of crap whisky to quench their thirst, as he won’t destroy the collector’s value of his malts by opening them. The collector may then put bottles up for auction when he can be assured of tripling or quadrupling his original outlay. Connoissuers hoard malt as well, but only to trade among fellow connoisseurs or for drinking sometime in the future. Connoisseurs detest collectors.
Analysis:
The last sentence makes it sound like the two are mutually exclusive, but I have it in me to be a bit of both. I’m headed down the connoisseur path now, trying everything I can get my hands on. However, if I had the means, I probably would have bought a second bottle of Laphroaig 30 year and stashed it away. I’d love to be able to buy one to drink and one to collect for rare malts.
Stage 3:
Stage 3 – Fanaticism: The malt fanatic’s collection is now burgeoning. He may drop $1000 or more in a single liquor store visit. Cases of whisky begin filling his closets; he may invest in industrial grade shelving to store his malts. The fanatic may also register his own whisky related website. By this stage, he has already visited Scotland at least once, or is planning it. If he has visited Scotland, his luggage upon return is loaded with bottles of booty. He travels cross country to attend malt extravaganzas (like Ardbeggeddon). Unhappy about the number of malts available in his hometown, he orders them online from stores in distant lands. He possibly has a separate credit card account that his wife doesn’t know about and has malt shipped to an unmarried friend’s home, or at least stores some bottles there.
Analysis: Now we get into the scary stuff. I can say NO to the first couple…no $1000 trips to the store, and while our kitchen is filling up with 30-some bottles and lots of miniatures, I’m not buying by the case yet.
However…
- Not only did I create a WordPress blog, I registered the ScotchHobbyist.com domain.
- While my first trip to Scotland doesn’t count, as it wasn’t driven by malt fanaticism, I AM trying to set up a 2011 Feis Ile trip.
- I’ve purchased from The Whisky Exchange and LFW in the UK. [totally worth it just for the 200ml Port Ellens!]
- No separate credit card. However, it’s possible I used cash on a couple of bottles and accidentally failed to mention it to my wife.
Stage 4:
Stage 4 – Obsession: The obsessive probably has more whisky stored than he can drink in the remainder of his lifetime. He probably also owns casks (or shares of casks) that are maturing in warehouses. He knows distillery managers on a first name basis. Bank accounts are drained, maybe carrying a balance on credit cards or a second (or third) mortgage to finance his malt aquisitions. If previously married, probably divorced by now, or else has the perfect wife. Count me as jealous!
Analysis: Danger! I’ve probably got 3-4 years worth of whisky, and I’d love to own a share of a cask (must resist). I’ve also spent roughly 2.5 times the scotch budget I set out at the beginning of the year, and there are still 5 months left in the year! Hmm…getting dangerously close on a couple of these.
I guess it’s time to really start watching myself. My wife has actually been very supportive, though, and has even humored me as I’ve talked about going to Feis Ile. Yes…you’re allowed to be jealous.
Stage 5:
There may also be a terminal stage 5; the terminal obsessive may wish to purchase his own distillery, thereby assuring himself of a perpetual supply of malt whisky. I have not personally witnessed this phenomenon, but I suspect at least a couple of my personal friends may be prone to this stage.
Analysis: I do kind of envy the Wild Scotsman.
Conclusion
Well, there you have it. I’ve confessed my malt fanaticism sins. How about you? Were you sucked in as easily as I was, or do you have more self control? Do you want to stop, or are you shooting for Stage 5?
Cheers, Jeff
Scotch Hobbyist's Blog 
Oh yeah…I also bought 6 Glencairn whisky glasses and a nosing copita, with matching watch glass covers. Maybe that’s when I should have realized I have a potential fanaticism problem…
I would consider myself as “terminal stage 2”. A thing that helps to manage the financial side of malt madness is to get samples rather than whole bottles. This way you can widen your experience without stacking bottles by the dozen.
Great point on the samples, Oliver!
That’s exactly what I talked about with my wife after I showed her these stages tonight. In fact, I have a pending 7 sample order with whiskysamples.eu right now, in lieu of ordering a mid-priced full size bottle.
It’s also good to find others to trade with once you have a bit of a collection built up.
I do not recommend my level of committment to whisky as you will spend vastly more money than you make! 🙂
I added some additional info to the post regarding the connoisseur vs collector question at stage 2. Any thoughts on that?
Even though I’m on the connoisseur path, I don’t really have a problem with collectors.
Funny how these stages of just about anything are always so accurate. I am a happy stage 2’er, also on the connoisseur path. I’ve not really started to horde or collect but am happy to try everything I can get my hands on for a price I can manage.
I have a limit on what I’ll spend per bottle, which probably keeps me from the really, really good stuff (though I still think there are plenty of good standard releases like Springbank 10 yr, Pulteney, Lagavulin, etc.). The price limit also keeps me in stage 2. Not surprisingly, the upper limit has slowly crept up over time, so eventually I may slide into stage 3, but probably not for a while. Money is tight right now and that keeps me in check. When I have more of it, all bets are off!
I am swimming in stage 2 and am more the connoisseur than collector (mostly due to my lack of will power when it comes to discovering new drops. That and I’d never be able to afford buying two of everything).
I’m definitely at stage 2 right now and threatening to break through my price/bottle limit. Following all you guys out there on twitter has certainly accelerated my Whisky Acquisition Disorder (WAD). To hold my price/bottle limit I’ve started to buy multiple bottles per trip to the liqueur store. In fact I’m trying to justify buying an Ardbeg Uigeadail, a Laphroiag 15yo, and a Caol Ila 12yo over the weekend for a little Islay focused tasting. I don’t see myself as going down the collectors route, but as mentioned above I wish I have enough bang to buy an extra to hold back. I’ve also begun looking for some glenclairn glasses as well.
On my Resources page (link at top), under “Retailers”, I’ve got a link to the eBay seller where I bought my Glencairn glasses. I can vouch for their reliability and fast shipping. They have different configurations at varying prices per glass, so browse their selection and compare.
However, now that I’ve bought a bunch of them, I think I might actually prefer the $2.99 5.5 oz brandy glasses (by Libbey) that I bought at BevMo for critical nosing.
I still love the feel of the Glencairn glass in the hand, though, and it’s fine for nosing and great for drinking.
I’m going to try to come back and join you guys in Stage 2 from a budgeting perspective. No more multi-bottle “gifts” to myself on Birthday, Father’s Day, etc. What a self-delusional scam that was. 🙂
[…] my attempt to remain a Stage 3 single malt fanatic, and not progress to Stage 4, I’m turning my focus more to whisky samples as a means of […]
I think that buying only bottles to drink (if you have storage room) is a false economy. If you can make a profit by storing bottles then you can subsidise your outlay on the pricier bottles by buying one to drink and one to store and sell on. The problems are 1) cashflow – no return for a while on these babies, 2) space requirement is time-bottles-are-stored-before-selling / period-between-purchasing-new-bottles. If the first figure is 5 years and the latter 1 month then you will eventually need space for 60 bottles just for those you are going to sell!
It would definitely be easier to collect scotch with a nice big cellar to store the bottles in (which I don’t have).
Great post! I am somewhere between stage two and three. While I do not spend $1,000 per visit to the liquor store, I have set up a blog to post my notes, research the web for tasting notes on my next buys and basically read everything i can on scotch.
Cheers!
Definetly stage 2 with a tendancy to stage 3..so 2,5??
Oh and by the if I could, then I would go immediatly to stage 5. But didn’t win the Jackpot yet 🙂
I’m thinking perhaps a variant on Stage 5. Rather than OWN a distililery, I’m thinking the ideal would be to have a close friend or family member own the distillery, but give you full access to the warehouse.
All of the fun, and none of the business headaches. 🙂
I well into stage Three. On the connoisseur vs collector issue I am also a split person. The collector/ trader in me however is helping the connoisseur to enjoy whiskies that the connoisseur on his own couldn’t afford. The collector is always on the right time and place to pick up the goodies twice to make it possible for the connoisseur to enjoy the one bottle that is opened.
Thanks for adding your comments, Johan.
Neither the collector nor the connoisseur in me could afford half of the whiskies I’ve purchased…thus the danger of slipping into Stage 4. 😉
I think I am somewhere on the border of stage 2 going up to 3 – but need assistance to decide.
Analysis:
– My enthusiasm and main passion are smoked whiskies – or in other words – Islay, Islay, Islay (even named my dog Islay – http://petnet.co.il/upload/Private/P5GxMzQ2gFIMG_2224a.jpg).
I have been to Islay at 2007 for a day – that was not enough. So this year, instead of dragging my wife, I’m dragging my father to Feis Ile 2010 – all 8 days(!) and made sure to pre-register to as many events with the distilleries as possible, including the Laphroaig Gathering (http://en-gb.facebook.com/event.php?eid=313868443578&index=1) (btw – tip about Feis Ile – book accommodations on Islay at least 10 months in advance). Have also been “growing” on Scottish culture since I was 8 (thank you Mom for being in a Celtic folk group), so I’m quite passionate about Scotland.
– As many here, I’m also a connoisseur, and follow a saying that was said about wine – “Drink wine, do not collect it” – and as I have mostly Islay whiskies, which my friends have hard time to share with me (to strong for them no matter how they try it), I can say I’m also half a collector as these bottles empty very very slowly.
– I have a limit on the price I would spend, but luckily it isn’t a low one, have found myself paying high prices for small bottles and have every intention to continue this (though my wife seems to pop to mind with every such purchase).
– Don’t write about it but read a lot about whisky (again mainly Islay), and try to follow the distilleries as much as possible, also have a friend who is the founder of The Israeli Whisky Society – http://iws.co.il/oldimages/iws.pdf (he is in stage 5, as he brings casks that were distilled in the Isle of Arran and matures them in Israel – just for the heck of trying – quite nice actually).
So – can you assist me with my classification ;-)?
Shai
Regarding my last reply – please remove the “)” from the end of jpg url.
Thanks,
Shai
Hi Shai,
Thanks for such a great comment! I love it that your dog is named Islay. Very jealous that you’re going to the entire Feis Ile this year. Are you planning to buy most of the special distillery bottlings?
I’d say you’re pretty firmly entrenched in Stage 3, even if you can’t quite check all of them off. Taking your father to Feis Ile was the clincher. And the dog? That sounds a little bit like Stage 4 obsession to me (especially with the Scottish outfit). 🙂
Sorry about the late reply.
Cheers,
Jeff
Apart from having joined well over a dozen or more (a lot more) whisky sites, havinga good few bottles in varying stages of drunk, collect books on the subject & I mean collect having something close to a hundred at the moment.I also have a Blog which covers my main obsessions-Books,Music & good Malt Whisky, not sure where I fit on the scale £25.000 for a bottle?, but if you had the that kind of money (won the lottery etc) YOU WOULD, wouldn’t you.
[…] Scotch Hobbyist wants to know, “which stage of malt fanatic are you?“ […]
Well, I took the test, and did no better than about a 1.5!
I feel whisky is for drinking, and not hording. I’d rather talk about it than read a book. And going to Scotland is got to be a done deal. My god! Not only does Scotland have the best whisky in the world, the scenery is simply gorgeous! How can we possibly lose?
As for sharing, forget about it! I serve my company wine, or something else, while I savor my Balvenie.
The price barrier for me is somewhere south of $150 a bottle. I would spend more, but I’m just a peasant at heart!
Well, I guess I’m the goat. I’ll admit to being curious. I came upon this sauce three weeks ago. Started with The Glen, upgraded to The Glen 15 (handed off to lady friends), Johnny, and tonight, Chivas.
It must be said, however, that Ms. Tre has noticed the switch from swill to proper gentlemanly drink.
Future imbibing of better life water and proper appreciation will surely cause a few ripples. But, it seems worth it.
I’m terminal! 25 years and running. The whisky choices are better than ever these days. I love it!
If you’ve got Loch Dhu in your cabinet, then I’m not surprised to hear you’re a terminal fanatic. 🙂
Looking forward to learning from your experiences on your blog!
Cheers,
Jeff
Hi Jeff
Just found your site and am enjoying reading through all you’ve posted. I am in Stage 3 (with parts of stage 4). No single $1000 trip, but spent over $1000 in a matter of a few days in separate stores. I have ordered from out of state. I have 18 bottles in the ‘visible’ stage and another 24 bottles hidden in a closet, with a couple in transit and a list already set to purchase at Total Wine. I’ve spent hours on Whisky Fun and Malt Madness, plus any number of visits to other sites and am in the planning stages of my first Scotland trip next year.
Somebody help me! 😀
I’m a roofer and the home owner’s husband died and she said that I can have a couple bottles of her husband single malt collection. I chose a bottle of Macallan 1971 bottled in 1989 and a bottle of Knockando 12 year bottled in 1977. My problem is that she has 15 more bottles and would sell them but I have no clue as to the value. The other bottles don’t give the bottling date. Is there any way to tell when bottled? There is codes on the bottom of the bottles but what do they mean?